Well last night we met with the bishop and things went well. I layed it all out and held nothing back including how I felt about being forgotten. And he apologized and let us know that he too is just learning this calling, and we came up with a plan to move forward and to look toward going to the temple in a couple of months. This is all I wanted was a goal, something to work for. We will be having the ward missionarys to come over for a visit to touch base and we will be starting temple ready classes. I also agreed to return back to Gospel essential classes even though we finished them for review – I am ok with this, it will be easier the second time around and we know and love the new teacher who is my wifes visiting teacher – I am looking forward to attending her classes.
Yep once again I am reposting from my wifes blog – she has put into words what I myself have been feeling for a while. It has been a couple of months since I last posted and I have to say that my expectations of this bishopric have fallen short. Now don’t get me wrong I am fine being a mormon – I am a mormon and no one can take that away from me. But the leadership in this ward I feel is lacking, I have no other experience to draw from but I would have to imagine that not all wards are like this. I have been trying so hard for this last year to do everything that was asked of me and I figured that someone would have talked to me about the temple at some point, but that has never happened – yes I feel forgotten. I see now why so many go inactive. This is not about callings or home teaching, this is about one on one counseling from the bishop or his counselors. I figure that my name must be on some list somewhere and it would let them know that I have now been a member for over a year – I would also think that if I have done something or not done something that someone would let me know so that I could fix the problem. But of course I am probably just putting too much thought into it and it is more likely that I have just been forgotten – on that I say Shame on you.
Now onto my wifes blog –
It has been more than a year now… Before Halloween in ’07 is when our journey began. It rolled quickly by and Ron was baptized in mid-November. It is sad and it hurts to know that we are at the end of the road here. About 6 months ago, Ron told me that we wouldn’t be going to the temple any time soon. He said our new bishop had expectations he couldn’t reach. He apologized to me for that. I kept hoping. But yesterday that fact hit home very heavily.
The poodle master is holding that hoop up high, waiting for us to perform to his liking. But I know from life that you can’t perform a trick that no one has taught you. I should have seen this coming. We moved into this ward more than 4 years ago. The old ward clerk (from Mom & Dad’s ward) wanted to help us because Mom had helped his family in their preparation for the temple. He called the current ward clerk asking for help with our move, etc. The new ward’s clerk told the old ward clerk that we weren’t his problem. For three years we lived here. We never saw anyone from the elders quorum. No Relief Society. No Bishopric. No visiting teachers. No home teachers. I guess I shouldn’t have expected anything from them.
The missionaries taught Ron the basics. Then they turned him over to the ward for further teaching. Ha! What a joke. I am finding two types of people here in this ward. People who know my family and just assume that Ron has been fellow shipped and taught by them. Or people who know the Joneses and seem to be waiting for me (or us) to act as they do. (most likely why they asked me to be a cub scout leader). It almost feels like a slap in the face to still be ‘meeting’ people who say, “why you don’t act anything like Suzee, do you.” That feels like a rude way to learn that the people I’ve been going to church with think they are very familiar with my family. If they are so familiar with my family, they would know that we are not connected or close in any way, shape, or form.
Ron’s learning of the gospel has come from the missionaries and myself. No one else. I can only explain things to him. I can only show him what I know. Dad has assumed that Ron joined the church because he absorbed it through osmosis. Which of course takes aways from the years that I spent talking to my husband about the church, bearing my own testimony and the hours I spent with scriptures and prayer. Does the poodle master think this way too? (Everyone who had joined the church in our ward this last year has gone inactive, maybe the osmosis process just isn’t working for them either)
Recently, we had two boys advance to the position of deacons. Shelley told me by way of talking that people came to her house to talk with her son about the priesthood (he also had a father for that). Her son learned the importance of his role and they talked about his serving the sacrament and they helped him to understand that part of his role. -Ron once said that most Mormons were at a disadvantage because they had everything handed to them. It’s true. Learning for a convert is a very difficult process. No one is teaching you or helping you understand anything. Nothing is explained. Nothing is taught. A convert is expected to just know all that a long-term member knows after their baptism.
It hurts to have a goal and see it lifted beyond your reach. It hurts to be reminded that I don’t have a place in this world. (I have a place beside my husband. In my home is the only place where I feel like I fit in.) I just go to church to partake of the sacrament anymore. No one has taken that right away from me yet. But why am I working and trying to reach the golden carrot? The truth is, I am not a dumb donkey. I know the carrot is out of my reach. And I am stubborn enough that I have no intention of performing tricks for the local poodle master just so I can prove my worth to him.
-I don’t want to be a visiting teacher. I have been a member of the relief society for 23 years and have had visiting teachers for almost 5 years of that time. And for my first 3 years in this ward I was placed on a mailing list. (Quite honestly, my adult years in this church have not been very pleasant ones). I have been given callings and left dangling with trying to handle them on my own. I don’t want my callings anymore. I am in a ward of strangers with friendly faces. That’s all. Believe it or not, we actually have home teachers. We’ve seen them all of 3 times in a years time. As a home teacher, Ron has been out very irregularly. His companion keeps waiting for him to take the lead, yet what is Ron to draw from? That’s a good question. What do the people in this ward think Ron is drawing from?
And that is all the fat lady wrote… This is the last time I plan to use this blog. The purpose of starting it no longer exists, so I plan on deleting it soon. Just wanted you to know.
Yep I am “borrowing” my wifes post again and reprinting – I loved this post that she just wrote last night and thought it fitting for here – Thanks Margaret
It was a nice church day. The talks in sacrament were very good. When the meeting ended, we were going to hurry home because the missionaries were coming for dinner at 5pm (and we were out of church at 4pm). Life doesn’t comply the way we always want it to and the car’s battery was dead. Being the newer car, we keep the battery cables in the older car… So Ron asked the Crouses if they could help out, only they didn’t have cables in their vehicle either. – and Ron Crouse said something about how we should have bought a more reliable car while he is standing next to the scion that they drive… Someone else had cables and the two Rons worked together, and we came home at about 4:25pm.
Christy and I started dinner while Ron changed and went out to see if he could clean the battery posts. Then he saw that it was almost 5pm and knew that the automotive place would be closing soon. (We don’t have the available cash for a battery at this time, but when there is a need…) Once he was at the car, he remembered that Christy has no school tomorrow. So he didn’t have to take the gift horse to the automotive store to shop for the cheapest battery we can afford. Battery prices have gone up since we last bought one. Starting at $100. Tomorrow Ron will drive the gift horse and Tuesday, I will drive him to work and back. That will cover us until payday when we can purchase the needed battery.
The chicken enchilada casserole was Mom’s recipe that she made for us. I had enough to double the ingredients and we didn’t have to wait too long for it to finish baking. Luckily the missionaries didn’t have an early appointment. The food must have been good (or they were just really hungry) because they had ‘many’ helpings. That’s nice to know. I’m never sure what other people might think of the foods I like to cook so I like seeing that something I made tasted good to someone else. -And for dessert we had caramel brownies with walnuts. Thankfully our missionaries have no known allergies.
For my sisters: I have all of Mom’s recipes. One day I would like to put them in a book for each of us. So here is Mom’s chicken enchilada casserole:
1 doz corn tortillas
1 can shredded chicken
1 can green chilies, chopped
1 chopped onion
1 can cream of chicken soup
(sour cream, optional)
Mix chicken, green chilies, onion and soup mix in sauce pan over med heat. Layer tortillas (I tear mine) in a baking dish, pouring the soup mixture over each layer and top with cheese.
Bake at 350 degrees for 20 minutes.
This is the first time in almost 6 months that we had missionaries for dinner. Since we are using a smaller table, I thought we just wouldn’t have the room for them. But after having Dad and Susan over, we discovered that we can make it work and the table doesn’t make everyone feel cramped. Besides, we probably need the added blessings that come from taking care of our missionaries.
Well today is my birthday, and I am disappointed. Not about my birthday mind you, I am disappointed with our bishop. I have talked to our bishop several times about getting my wife released from the scouting program and all I am getting is the run around for a couple of months now. The reason for the release is for a couple of reasons one of which is her working schedule and health reasons. She had no idea what this calling entailed when she accepted it but we did let the bishopric know that we would give it a shot but that we were trying to start a home business and we were worried about the time issue and they said no problem if it becomes an issue just let them know…… There has been a few issues with this calling that were not made known. One other thing that you should know and I am no too proud to admit it is, we are and have been having money problems – I had racked up quite a bit of credit card debt before I became a member of the church and we now (like many of others) have more debt than money, any way I had gone to the bishop in the past about this so he also knows of our financial situation. Ok I am not explaining this to well so I will just copy a section of my wifes blog here – she may get mad about this but at least I am not putting a link to her blog here.
I’m one of those people that get picked for crap jobs at church. You know, the job that they can’t find anyone to do. They convince you to try it, but when things don’t work out they will ignore you or avoid you completely because they had no intention of ever letting you out of that said crap job (unless you move away or die). -Yes, my bishop does seem to go out of his way to avoid me ever since Ron told him that he didn’t want me in scouts anymore.
I don’t have any sons. A fact that the scout mothers point out to me often. I am tight on money and this calling eats money like an elephant. To be a ‘volunteer’ in scouts is a $70.00 application. The shirt you must wear cost $40.00 not to mention the patches and insignias that you purchase to sew on your new uniform shirt. The many training programs you must participate in cost $5.00 – $10.00 each. If you wish to purchase kits or other helpful scouting items…. pay up. And now they say that since I’m over 40, I must get a physical. (I have not done any of the above).
The cub scouts put out a program help guide that has a week by week and month by month activity and meeting suggestions. For instance, this month is “Adventure in Books” with activities like ‘make a book safe’ (you purchase old books at garage sales so you can cut holes in the pages), ‘illuminated letter’, ‘family scrapbook’ (with lightweight cardboard, loose-leaf metal rings, and scrapbook paper), and ‘bookends’ (needing wood, nails, hammer, craft paint, etc). Everything needs money. Lots and lots of money. Of course, the church does pay your $70.00 fee, and they will eventually pay you back for the materials you purchase (that’s if the primary presidents think scouts deserve any of their appointed moneys). But what part of the “I am on a budget and I cannot participate in the Scouting Money Hog Program” is my bishopric not getting?
This month we are having the raingutter regatta. They will provide materials for the boys. But they needed someone to make a model. I volunteered when no one else did. After all, they should have the materials. But as the volunteer, I had to purchase my own materials. I made my boat yesterday when I couldn’t get online to work on my job. (You know, the stuff that really needs to be done so that we can get paid?)
Today I had to choose between figuring out what to do with the cubbies for scouts or working on my job. My mother-in-law came by and took my batch because she wanted it completed for billing. So, now my real life had to bow down to my forced church service. Because every new member needs three things to be successful at church: a calling, a job, and to do service until you learn to love it.
(by the way, I worked on scouting stuff from 8am – 1pm)
So, you ask why I didn’t work on this stuff before? Before Wed of last week, I finished up and returned 3 different batches. On Thursday, I got a new batch and that evening went to the leader meeting where I found out I was on my own with my boat building. Friday I was sick (with what Christy and Ron had). Saturday we were at Kait’s baby shower and later I finished the laundry. Sunday was Sunday. And yesterday I couldn’t access my on-line program (or even check my e-mails).
I have had enough. There might be church people who just love to rush around moving, doing and serving at all costs to time, money and family…. But that’s not me. I wish the church people would quit trying to shove everyone into the same wrapper. I feel like a pet poodle being trained to jump through hoops for their pleasure.
Ok so we know by this time that I don’t keep up with this blog as I should – what can I say, I do try though.
So this month I ordered from the LDS website the best movie or video collection that I have ever seen and it was only $6.00 what a deal. It is called the “Church History Collection. DVD” This is a 3 DVD collection and this thing is fantastic. We are almost though disk 2. If you have not seen this it is so worth the money I would recommend this to everyone. This gives the whole church history and it has cool movies that were played at the visitors centers years ago, Plus new stuff and it takes you though everything. It has a lot that I hadn’t seen before and answers questions that many of us might have wondered about.
Well August is half over and I don’t know where it went. We are struggling to make ends meet like always, I know that I am not alone in this aspect, I know that many of you know what this is like,, but this is tough. There is never enough money to cover all the bills and have any left over – this month like most it is – ok what do we really need in food to get though the next 2 weeks and what can we cut. I have to admit that for the last 2 months I have not been giving full tithing only about 3/4 – but you know what – sometimes you just have to do what you have to do – I can’t tell the bill collectors – oh I am sorry I can’t pay you this month – and I can’t cut the food budget farther, we are using some of our food stores(and have been) I will tell you this flour that is canned gets yucky after a few years, it had such a bad metal smell that we did not even want to try to use it and just through it away, we did try to take it out of the can for a couple of days but that didn’t help – of course looking at the date I think we canned it in 99 or 2000( boy where does the time go) – I will just have to try to make up the tithing at a later time. Some of the money went for medical bills – we don’t have medical insurance so when we do have to go to the doctor that takes cash. I make just enough so we don’t quilify for any assistance for a family of 3. Well this is my rant for the moment – I will try to add more here later – but don’t hold your breath on that one, every time I say that it is a week or so before I can find the time.
Yep I know it has been a while again since I have posted – I feel like such a heathen. There never seems to be enough time in the day, I am just going to have to re-evaluate my goals on this one and just say that I will try to post once a month. That way I won’t feel bad if I don’t get a chance to post.
Well this weekend is the ward campout, I know that my family is really looking forward to this. We have never camped as a family, in fact I haven’t camped in years. There used to be the day when I used to go backpacking and camping all of the time – but those days are long past. Now it will be all about I hope the double high air mattress I bought for my wife and I works ok or I will be laying down and won’t be able to get back up – I hate having back problems – my wife is the same way if not worse except she has had back problems all of her life and hardly never complains – I love her so much. My back problems I have only had for about the last 5 years or so. Anyway getting back on subject – I have gone out and bought some new stuff and we are looking forward to testing it out. We went out and bought a new tent – we set it up on the grass at the ward to try it out and it seems big enough – I don’t think my wife and daughter understood why I wanted to test out the tent but anyone that has spend any time outside knows you don’t wait until you are away from home to try out the equipment. What I like most about this campout is this is good time to check out the other campgrounds up by where we are going. It used to be nothing to throw stuff in the car and go camping back in california – but here there are a few more chalanges because who wants to go camping in 100+ heat – not me thats for sure. Now I don’t think that I have ever been up to prescott so this will be cool to see what else this state has to offer. I have to add here that I am also looking forward to spending time with the ward away from church – this it a great time to see how people really are. I have to say that I really like this calling to the activities comittee because it forces me to interact with people and to do these things that I would not regularly do just because of being shy and a bit of an introvert and a home body anymore.
Yep its been a while since I have posted again. The first thing I want to add here is the family and I have completed reading the BoM out loud together, What a great accomplishment – but we are not done yet. We are taking a week or so break then we are starting on the Doctrine and Covenants.
Yep May is here, I wonder if this month will be any better then the last one, I sure hope so. Well its just me working again. I don’t want to say too much on here because people from our ward actually read this thing and it could get ,,,, well you know… – but lets just say that the job was too unorganized and it sounds like it could use a good office manager and leave it at that.
Well the budget thing with the credit counselor didn’t work out – it seems that you have to actually have money to get out of debt – who would have thought!!! So now we are back to where we started with more bills than money. It also seems that the Church’s plan to get out of debt also only works if you have money. They say take you smallest credit card and pay more on it to pay it off and then use the money that you were using for that card and use that money to pay the next highest card etc – Hello I think most of us get that one but what if you can only pay the minimum if that – this plan does not work unless you have extra money do begin with.
Well as you can see I am trying to keep up with this. I just don’t know how other church members do it. How do you juggle working, church and church callings and family. Now that my wife is working (and she seems to like where she is working) there is less time together and we scramble to get things done. I know that this will even out over time and we are making Christy do more around the house. Stuff that used to get done during the day now has to be crammed in at night or on Saturday since we don’t work on Sunday – oh well hopefully in time this will even out or we will have to rethink the whole calling thing. Of course my wife would not like me to be talking like this about callings but there is a certain stress brought into the house by the callings and it is there nonetheless. I want to jump back on the subject of my wife working, this is such a relief after all of these years that there will be more money coming into the house – she got her first paycheck yesterday and even though it was only for one day (end of last pay period) it was great to think that in two weeks she will get a full paycheck and we can start paying down some bills that have slowly gathered over the years – oh by the way I didn’t mention, we got all of our credit cards together and cut them all up – that we there will be no temptations.
Well we are working to get out of debt, this will take a little while(about 4 years) but when we are done we will be debt free. I wish to thank our bishop for his guidance, when we were having problems last week and needed to know where to go next he provided the guidance that we needed. Myself I can’t even imagine what being debt free will feel like. I can’t stress enough to stay away from the whole credit card trap – and yes that is what it is a trap. It starts out just getting one for emergency’s then you use some on that one and then they or another company sends you another one and you say that you will charge on it to build your credit and pay as you go to keep the balance down and then things happen and you don’t do that and after that the cycle just continues and before you know it you are in over your head and wonder how did this happen.
My wife starts her new job today I am so proud of her – this will be the her 1st job in about 13 years. I guess I should give a little background on this, she graduated from college last year for medical billing and coding and then passed her national exams. She did have something lined up before but that didn’t pan out. Well thats it for now and I will try to add more later.
Well here it is April 1st and I am home from work with an ear ache. What a way to start the month.
Well it gets better and better this month – I don’t really want to add this here but I will – we are in debt, I am not talking about a little bit but a lot. It seems that my financial indiscretions that accured before I became a member of the church have come back to haunt me. What I am talking about is credit card debt or should I say lack of paying credit card debt. There have been a few credit cards in years past that I haven’t paid for, for one reason or another, the one that started all of this was a capital one credit card that got charged on little by little until it was about 5500.00 this was back in 2004-2005- this was in my wifes name even though I was the one using it. Well my wife broke her ankle and I was unable to keep up with it due to other bills – even though I was always on time with my payment they would not work with us and to tell the truth I just stopped paying on it after they got rude on the phone. Well jump ahead to now and we just got served papers that they have filed a judgement against us for 16,000. I am sorry but this is just not right- I can see paying my debts but how did it get to 16,000. I have to admit also though that there are couple of other bad debts also – but none quite like that. I should also mention that currently we are holding 9 open credit cards that are up to date on payments but are maxed out – I am not sure really how this starts other than it happens slowly over time and next thing you know is that you are so over your head that you don’t know what to do. I know what the church views are on credit cards and I agree – but this happened before. Not knowing what to do we went to the bishop and he advised credit counseling – we have submitted the papers ( all of our debt and income) on saturday online and now are waiting to hear back to setup an appointment.
I have to keep the faith and trust in the lord that he will help guide us and see us though this – I wish the baptism could have wiped this slate clean also – LOL
Well it looks like time got away from me again – here it is the end of March and I haven’t written a thing. Sometimes it gets to the point that it just gets too busy. It seems almost every day of the week it taken up with something – except Mondays – we do try to keep that clear even if it is only for a couple of hours to spend time together. Oh and sometimes fridays are clear- but I have been having to work saturdays sometimes so that leaves no time at all.
Well lets see what has happened for this month – Margaret did get another calling in the church- she is now a cub scout den mother – I myself find this a little strange since we don’t have any boys – but she has accepted and we will see how this goes. Lets see we did feed the missionarys last week, it is always cool to have them over. We have also gotten everything done that we needed for the Easter Picnic which is tomorrow by the way – we have cut out these cute little easter baskets out of white paper bags with ears that the kids can attach their eyes and ears and mouths and color and glue – that was a lot of cutting let me tell you. The kids should have a good time though and we always enjoy when everyone gets together.
I am starting to get my genealogy together and have met a cousin online that I haven’t seen since I was little – it is kinda exciting to talk to members of the family that I didn’t even know remembered me.
Margaret and I also have to get the new office setup over at Moms so that we can get that part of the business off of the ground – http://doctorschoicemedicalbilling.com – it is just trying to make time on a Saturday when I am not working.
Well that is about it for now – I will try to add a little more here after the picnic tomorrow if I get time.
Ok a few days have gone by and I haven’t posted,,,, what can I say life gets busy or sometimes there is really nothing to talk about.
Today I voted – this is a first for me and it wasn’t as hard as I thought it was. Today I also have an activities committee meeting and we will assign duties for the upcoming valentines dance and we will talk about the easter program – I also noticed that last Sunday we had another member called for the activities committee. This will mean that we are not the new ones anymore.
Well thats it for now – I will add to this section as I think of things to add.
Well tonight we fed the missionaries, we had taco’s with all of the fixings and brownies for desert – I do so like having them over, it seems like old times and it just brings such a good feeling into the house. If you are reading this Elders – thank you.
Gordon B. Hinckley has passed away. This prophet will be missed. I am trying to find the words on how I feel about this. On one hand I am saddened by his passing but I know now that he has gone to a better place and he is back together with his wife and family.
Being a recent convert, I have gotten to know this quite remarkable man. We have seen programs on byu.tv about his life and his accomplishments and they are amazing, they also had his children and wife making comments about this man that they called father or husband. I don’t remember the name of the program – maybe LDS life? you can find the listing in the program guide on byu.tv on your computer – we watch this on the computer all of the time they have some great shows.
Anyway getting back to the prophet – this man was amazing, the things he has accomplished and the progress he has made for the church during his presidency. I hear that we went from 56 to 224 temples – this in itself is something to admire the man for but there are so many other things also, I read about the education fund that he helped setup so that when returning missionarys from poor areas return they are helped with their education costs – this is just such a great thing.
Gordon B. Hinckley, the president and prophet of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, passed away on 1/27/2008 shortly after 7 p.m., in his apartment in Salt Lake, surrounded by his family. He was 97 years old.
Gordon B. Hinckley – you will be missed, God bless you.
Well I am running out of clever idea’s for titles so Thoughts for January will have to do.
Well nothing big going on – I feel guilty that I haven’t been posting more, but there is only so much time in the day. Lets see – we have a new set of missionarys so that is always cool. Welcome Elder Fellows and Elder ,,,,,,? . Let see what else – I should been meeting my home teachers next week – I think I have met them in church but I don’t really remember them – I also got my names for home teaching but I still need to contact my visiting companion – I don’t think that I have ever met him and I am kinda new to this whole home teaching thing and have had no guidence but I am sure I will figure it out. I do get the Ensign so I know the visiting lession. Lets see what else haven’t I mentioned – our ward is having a field day and picknic – the spell check is not picking picknic and I know it is not spelled right – oh well. Anyway the field day should be fun – my wife and I are on the activities commitiee so that is kinda cool – we like working with the other commitee members, it is hard work but very rewarding – plus it gets us out of the house – LOL. Oh I guess I should mention that we got a new Bishop and 1st and 2nd counselers.
1/24/08 Well today I had my last lesson with the missionarys and the first with my home teachers – I guess I have graduated – LOL. I will miss the missionarys visits though, after a while you just get used to seeing them every week and they just become part of your life.
I do admire all of the hard work that the missionarys do though. I remember seeing the missionarys on the street before I was baptized and thinking that there goes the missionarys and never giving it another thought – but now it is different. Now I wonder where they are going and who they are seeing and if they are getting enough to eat and how their day is going and if there is anything that I can do for them. I will miss them – especially Elder Farthing, where ever he may be now. I do have an email address for him but haven’t yet emailed him – I think that I will have to do this soon.
Ok how did this happen.
It seemed that just yesterday she was holding up her hands to be picked up and held. Where did the time go? I knew that it was coming but it did just kinda sneak in. Wow 13 she is now officially a teenager.
I know I haven’t posted in a couple of days but hey nothing new has happened worth mentioning. I did want to stop by and at least post a happy new year post – so here it is.
HAPPY NEW YEAR – may this year bring further enlightenment and move me closer to my goal to be a better person and to remarry my wife in the temple so that I can be sealed together forever with my best friend.
Well not too much to add since the last post – see I am trying to do a little better with posting. I am also trying not to add just fluff so to speak – some days are just like the rest. We did get the Christmas tree and all of the decorations down and packed away – a little early this year but we needed to make room. It is hard when you live in an apartment, there is just so much room.
Saturday went well, we did a little shopping for Christy’s birthday – we had to have Christy with us though for what we wanted so no surprises there. I have one note to make to anyone that happens to read this though, if the subject comes up to buy your almost 13 year old(next friday – 1/4) daughter shoes – try to stay home, it will be better for your feet and your patience. After about 2 hours we finally found a pair of shoes that fit, that she likes. I don’t think I ever want to go into another shoe department again – LOL. Since I had very little input on the subject and just seemed to get in the way I recommend that this be avoided at all costs. We also picked up some paint and supplies and this trip was pretty painless – in and out in about 20 minutes and that included the mixing of the paint – now that is my kind of shopping, in and out.
I seemed to be neglecting my journal here.
Christmas went well, there was just enough and everyone was happy with the few gifts that they received. I think in times past we just bought stuff and that is how I remember it – stuff, very few times it was anything memorable. This year was different. With not having much money we had to take care with what we bought and I can really say that there was love attached to each and every present that was received. I also want to thank you mom for buying me a suit – even now it brings tears to my eyes thinking about it – thank you so much. I now have something other than my normal work clothes to wear to church. It is such a happy time of year.
We had the missionary’s over for lessons and lunch yesterday and it went great – I find I look forward to their visits and I love the feeling that they bring into the house and I hope that they too can feel that the spirit does reside in our house – I sometimes feel so full of the spirit that I could just glow – weird I know but that is the way it feels.
Well now that Christmas is over I again have to figure out how I am going to make ends meet. Christy’s birthday is next week on January 4th – I have let her know that for this birthday we will try to redo her room. I figure I can buy some paint and paint her room and help her rearrange it – this shouldn’t cost too much and I can spread it out a bit. I also need to get her some church shoes – she doesn’t have anything that fits – such a growing girl – size 9 in womans and a narrow foot. I need to find something in black that will go with anything that she wears. It wasn’t so bad when it was warmer, she could just wear sandals.
Dear Heavenly Father,
Thank you for this most wonderful day, for any day within your light of love is a most wonderful day indeed. Please bless everyone that we may come in contact with both directly and indirectly. Please protect us all and keep us safe this holiday season and thank you for sharing your love with us. Thank you for your many blessings that you have bestowed on us. Thank you for the prophets Joseph Smith and Gordon B. Hinckley and all that have followed your message and teachings. Our love for you is so great that words cannot do it justice and we are thankful for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, Amen.
Well here I thought that I was done with the lessons – not that I had stopped learning or anything – but I was wrong. But that is ok I like challenges. Elder Farthing came over for a teaching lesson and he brought a nice member of the church with him for the lesson. This was cool – I do like Elder Farthing and I enjoy learning from him. Sometimes these lessons are hard though – I know what I know but sometimes it is hard to put words to them.
Well there is so much to add on here. I have been so busy this week with so many different things that it is hard to know where to start. Today was fantastic! I got to help with the sacrament with a couple of fine young men that helped guide me. I thought I might be a little nervous about doing this but it was no problem at all. It was really weird sitting up there looking back at everyone though – you can really see everything from up there – LOL
I also paid tithing today which I do every two weeks of course – but this time was just a little different. You always hear stories of when people don’t have money (like me) and pay their tithing’s on time how there will be enough money to see them though – I have to admit that I believed- kinda,,,,, Well I am a full believer now. I keep a budget every month to see what needs to be paid and who needs to be paid – pretty much it just reminds me of how broke we really are and how we barely make it every month. Anyway getting back to what I was talking about – for the 2 months I have been paying my tithing’s and things have been very tight in the money department, bills barely getting paid. I thought for sure that there was going to be no way we would have anything left for Christmas because we have put what was going to be for Christmas for tithing. But sitting down to do the bills I notice that the food seems to have stretched farther this month and Christy’s school lunches still have money left in the account from past months and my paycheck was just a little bigger this month,,,, and a couple of other things also – but we now have a little money for Christmas when I should not have had any money – this is one great weight off of my shoulders and this I thank Heavenly Father for and all of the blessings he has bestowed on us.
I forgot to mention the Christmas dinner and the activities committee on Friday. It was great. This was our first activities from our calling and I so enjoyed working with my wife. I will try to post some of the pictures that I took. It was a lot of work setting up the stage and the chairs and decorations and then dishing out all of the food and cleaning up, but it was worth every second to see the look on children’s faces and to see all of the family’s together enjoying themselves.
On Saturday we had a lesson with the missionary’s, and we had also signed up to feed them. I was expecting Elder Farthing and his new companion Elder Fellows but Elder Farthing had a prior commitment so we had a great dinner and lesson with Elder Fellows and a new missionary that was just a couple months into his mission -it was great. Sorry Elder Farthing – you missed out on a great dinner, plus Christy made brownies that were awesome – of course we sent the rest home with the missionary’s – hope they saved some for you,,, LOL.
Well it has been a little over a week since I last posted so I guess it is about time. Lets see in the past week I have been to the activities meeting to finalize what my wife and I are doing for the Christmas dinner – we are decorating the stage. We have everything ready to go for this Friday including a full size tree that we borrowed from mom – thanks mom. and all of the lights and decorations. It won’t be too much but we are hoping just enough. Last week I was sick and didn’t attend church – this was the first one that I had missed and I really missed going – plus I was going to help with the sacrament – I will do this this Sunday though just to experience it. I have let my daughter know that this christmas is going to be a little short – ok a lot short but that is ok she is getting older – I wish I had saved up for christmas before I became a Mormon – LOL. The money that I was going to spend for christmas has gone for tithing but that is ok, I am sure many blessings will come from it. I also want to thank mom for the $50 she gave me last week – we used it to buy christy another pair of long pants and a long sleeve shirt because it has been getting kinda cold.
Oh ya before I forget, we get to continue with my lesson’s with Elder Farthing and we get to feed him and his new companion this Saturday – now this is exciting. I thought we would be done with them when I was baptized but I guess I was wrong, I really like that missionary and his humor and the way he relates his messages. Well I will post more after the ward dinner on Friday and post how it went.
Well yesterday we spent the day at the Mesa Temple visitors center and it was great. There was so many things to see and we got to watch the Joseph Smith: The Prophet of the Restoration movie and it was great. There was so much there that it would be hard to put it all down here. The missionaries that are there are great and so very helpful. I think the part my daughter liked most was they had BoM in many different languages and some of the books are bound backwards to us and start from back to front and right to left instead of left to right – it was cool to look at all of the different books. And of course the trip wouldn’t be complete with out mentioning the Christus statue -it is huge and standing in front of it is a feeling all of its own. Like I said so much to mention. We also stayed to see all of the Christmas lights – we were thinking of staying for the nightly show but by that time it was getting cold and I must admit that my feet were starting to hurt so we agreed that we would come back at a later time to watch the presentation.
Yep the title about says it all. I need a calendar, I am sure that most of you have a calendar that you would write things on, but I don’t have one. Up to now we really didn’t go anywhere or have anyplace out of the ordinary to go, so why would we need a calendar for meeting or events. We now have so many things going on that I can’t keep up with it in my head and I will need to try to plan work around these things as best that I can.
Lets see – off of the top of my head,,, Ok Monday is clear because that is family home evening, Tuesday,,,, Let see I think the first Tuesday of the month is our activities meeting except for this time because of a relief society meeting – which pushed back the activities meeting until Thursday this time, but lets see Thursday is our meeting with the Missionary’s so I will have to reschedule that for ??? and Wednesday is our daughters Mutual meeting,,,, Well lets see I guess I could move the Missionary’s to Friday, which would leave Saturday open to do house stuff like laundry and such, and of course Sunday is Church day. Well that wasn’t so bad off of the top of my head – if I have it right – LOL
Lets see did I mention that we met with the activities leader and my wife and I get to decorate the stage for the Christmas dinner in 2 weeks – this is a great calling but it will take a little bit to get broken in.
Well last night we formally met the missionary couple that we will be working with. What an enjoyable couple, the energy and comfort they bring is truly awesome. This meeting was a get to know each other meeting, and was such an enjoyable experience that the time just flew by. I did share my testimony with them, this is something that I don’t generally share with many people because I don’t want people to think I am strange. How do you convey a feeling that was so strong that you completely change your life and lifestyle almost overnight. It felt so comfortable to speak to this couple though that sharing felt totally natural. I look forward to our next meeting.
Well thats it for now time to get ready for work. I will feel better if I can change my work hours to normal hours instead of working until 7 pm every night – this gets kinda hard to do anything but work and I get little time with my family. Christy has her mutual meeting tonight and we will also be meeting our activities director at her home so she can bring us up to speed on what is going on and what is planned.
Well another exciting Sunday. Today I got to stand up as everyone sustained me into the Priesthood and then my wife and I into the calling of working with the activities committee. This sounds like fun and work all wrapped into one – LOL. I think my daughter is excited though because this gives her an in for all of the activities. We will know more about this calling soon though. I also got ordained into the Aaronic priesthood today and was able to join in ordaining another to the priesthood – how exciting !.
We now have a missionary couple that we met last week that we will now be working with. They are a very friendly couple and we invited them to the confirmation today. I was glad they came – they seemed very nice and we look forward to working with them.
Well tonight after work my wife and I have a meeting with the bishop, I don’t know what this will involve. I figure it will be one of two things – or I have no clue – LOL. I figure it could be a welcome to the ward or to setup a calling or I have no clue – more likely the third choice and I have no clue,,, so I guess we will have to wait and see.
We also have adult missionary’s coming next week to help us with our studies.
I didn’t have time last night to update the post so I will add a little here instead of starting a new one. The Bishops meeting went good, it was about me recieving the Aaronic Priesthood and about our calling. It seems my wife and I will be working with the activities committee. This sounds like a lot of fun and a way to get to meet new people. I am sure that Christy will like this too since we will now be part of the activites and she will have the chance to go to all of them – LOL Well since this is Thanksgiving week I doubt that I will post again until Sunday.
Well the confirmation went great – it wasn’t too bad getting up in front of everybody. Mostly I was hidden behind the circle of friends both new and old as I sat and got the confirmation. I wish to give special thanks to my father-in-law Ron for doing the confirmation and also Susan, and also Jim and his whole family that made the time and the trip to see me – Thank you, it meant so much to me – you guys have some awesome children and you should be so proud. I would also like to thank Elder Stroud and Elder Farthing – I know it is time for you both to move on, but I will miss both of you and I will always remember how you helped me on my journey. There are so many others to thank – but I doubt they will ever get a chance to read this since I have only shared this website with family at this point – and of course my internet friends that have helped me along the way.
I would like to say that I remember everything that has happened in the last two days but that would be a lie – Mostly it has happened like a blur – so much in such a short time. Now here I sit but I have to get going here in about 20 minutes to a fireside – we have been invited – – sure wish I knew what a fireside was,,,,,, and I have to get dressed up again,,,,, man,,,, where is this rest that I am suppose to be getting today – LOL. Oh before I forget – I gave my first tithing today also, so now I know how to do that. I want to write more but I have to go get ready – I know that I want to add more here- maybe later.
Ok another quickie note here – Just got back from the fireside – What a cool thing,,, it was a mini play about temple marrage. I just love the feeling of togetherness and the meeting of new people and of course the meeting of people that you have already met but don’t have any idea of their names – LOL. This is going to take a little time trying to remember everyones name and the names of their spouses and children and children of children. Well time for bed -
Ok I had a hard time coming up with the title for this one – So here it is – I am Mormon, I think that just about sums it up.
Well today was fantastic – what a day. It is about 9:30 pm and and I am so tired that I can’t even think to type this. Ok getting back to the baptism. Everyone was wonderful and I especially want to thank my niece and nephew – Sarah who played the piano and Sam who talked on baptism – you both were great and I know it must have been hard to get up in front of all of those people but you were great and I want to let you both know that, that meant so much to me and I will never forget. I also want to thank Jim for the opening prayer. We did have a couple of family members that were a little late though, it was kinda funny. I did send maps to everyone but some did not look at the maps and instead showed up at the ward – the ward building has no baptism font and we were all at the stake center – LOL sorry it is kinda funny,,, I did send a map though and some of the people have been to the ward and the stake center before – sorry for laughing but it is little things like this that makes this day all of the more special. Or how about Elder Farthing that baptized me – by the way thank you Elder Farthing – you shall aways be in my thoughts and I feel as if we are now joined in brotherhood. Elder Farthing seemed to have forgotten to bring another shirt so here we are – he has just baptized me and we have all of the people out there waiting to finish and I change and come out and take my seat and we are waiting for Elder Farthing,,,,,, ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, ,,,,,,,,,, Sure is a good thing they had a clothes dryer there in the back – but you know what – it was great. I did feel bad though – he was up for the talk on the Holy Ghost and he was in a very damp shirt.
I know there is more but my brain is just not working right now – I will have to add the rest later – time for bed – I have the confirmation tomorrow.
Dear Heavenly Father.
Today before I get baptized I wish to thank Heavenly Father for all that he has given me. I am a very rich man, oh not in money for there are times that I can hardly pay the bills but there always seems to be just enough, I wish to thank Him for all that he has given me that are more valuable then any thing else here on earth.
I am thankful for my wife Margaret, she is my best friend, my companion, my second half, who always knows what I need whether it is to talk or be hugged or just to sit quietly next to, to let me know that I am not alone or walking alone in this world. This woman is amazing and I love her with all of my heart and wish to be with her forever. This woman that I am proud to call my wife has put up with me for many years without complaining(ok well every now and then I might need a little nudge-LOL) My wife has had back problems for years and has gone though a broken ankle but even though rarely complains – my wife is someone who I admire so much it is impossible for words to do her justice. Here is a woman that for the past 14 years has never nagged me or pushed me into joining the church but seemed to know that one day Heavenly Father would step in and take control. I love you wife with every fiber of my being and I thank you for being you Margaret.
I am thankful for my sweet daughter Christy. Here is a daughter that any parent could be proud of. I am so inclined to call her child but she is not really a child anymore. At almost 13 she is growing into quite the young woman. Of course this will always be my child, my baby, my angel – even when her mother refers to her as your child -( you parents know what I am talking about – like in – (wife talking) Do you know what your child did today) LOL. This daughter of ours who pretty much always minds her parents and never gets into trouble and gets good grades and wins science awards and has learned so much from us about computers that when we try to show her something new on the computer she now lets us know that she already knows it by saying “I KNOW”,,,,, I must say that I am getting kinda tired of hearing those words though – they seem to be popping up everywhere now – Like when we ask her to unload the dishwasher,,,,,, ” I know” or gather her laundry ” I know” or set the table – ” I know” – maybe I am missing something here but if you knew why isn’t it done already – LOL. Oh the joys of being a parent. But to get back on subject – I love you Christy and I am so proud of you and so proud to have you as a daughter for you are my pride and joy.
Thank you Heavenly Father for riches more valuable then any other in this world – please guard them and keep them safe and I say this in the name of Jesus Christ – Amen.
Ok I wasn’t going to post today, but here I am. I find the closer we get the more nervous I get – but not for the reasons you might think. I have no doubts about the baptism – my faith is stronger then ever. No – what I am wondering about is,,, I hope I can live up to Heavenly Fathers expectation of me. I hope I am good enough. I lived a hard life before I married my wife 14 years ago – I have been good ever since. Nothing too bad mind you, but I wasn’t a very nice person and I did many things that were not good for me. I have now quit smoking and drinking (I never drank very much) and here I sit with my last cup of coffee – LOL ( please – I am trying) Tomorrow the coffee maker leaves,,,, Don’t worry when I do something I do it all of the way. I also worry about fitting in – my 13 year old daughter knows more about the scriptures than I do. I know I will learn in time but I sometimes wonder why didn’t I get the calling years ago – so much time wasted. I also wonder if anyone will come to my baptism – I know that I am worrying for no reason – but I can’t help it. This is just pre baptism jitters – LOL
Well its been a couple of days since I have posted anything so I thought it was time.
Not too much going on really,,, I miss the missionary’s and I am looking forward to the baptism on Saturday. This week seems to have dragged on forever and I am glad it is almost over. I am taking time off from work tomorrow just to have some time to myself – time to reflect. I don’t ever get any time to myself with the work hours that I work, usually I go to work at about 9 am and work till after 7pm. I get time to spend with my family from about 6 am to about 7:30 am in the morning if they are not in the bathroom – which of course they are – LOL anyone with girls knows what I am talking about. Then I get home around 7:30 pm and have a little dinner, sometimes they wait for me but I wouldn’t expect them to it is too late for my daughter to eat – she is almost 13. Anyway I get home and then we only have about an hour or so before it it time for her to go to bed. On Mondays though I try to get home fast and eat fast so we can have a little of a family home evening – Usually we will play a game together, lately it has been scrabble, I love the time together. I see that I have drifted a but off of subject,, sorry,,,,, taking tomorrow off – of course I won’t really be alone, my wife will be home. I think I will just put on the new CD that I just bought, Jericho Road – I like their sound and go into the other room and just sit for a while and reflect on my life – past and future – I am starting a new chapter in my life and I am so looking forward to it – it just feels so right. It is hard to believe that only a couple of weeks have passed since I had the calling if you will – I still don’t really know what to call it and it is kinda embarrassing to talk about – so I don’t. Well that it for now, I will try to write more tomorrow.
Yep today is interview day,,,,
I have to work today so I will be nervous all day long. I work long hours and don’t get off work until 7pm tonight so the interview won’t be until 7:30 tonight. This will be a long day. I can’t wait until Saturday – baptism day and then Sunday confirmation day – I am a little nervous about that get up in front of the WHOLE church day. Its like well if you didn’t notice that I was new – you sure will now – lol – this is ok though, I have a very supportive ward.
I want to again say thank you for all of you that have posted your support and even posted, posts on your sites showing support and guidance and help with answers when I needed them most – THANK YOU !!!!!!!!
I just noticed something on all of my posts – have I been spelling missionary’s wrong? Should it be spelled missionary’s or missionaries? I can’t believe that if I have been spelling it wrong no one has told me – LOL oh well I am not going back to correct at this point – it will just be part of this posts charm,,,, darn how embarrassing,,,, lol
Well I will try to add more here after the interview –
Ok here it is almost 9 pm – I got home a half and hour ago but I had to eat.
I don’t know how to describe the interview – it was intense with feeling, the missionary that conducted the interview was very nice he let me know that he was about 18 months into his mission and he was from Utah. We started the interview with a prayer, he asked if I minded kneeling on the floor, which I did and then he asked if I would give the prayer and I said no problem,,,,,, Want to know what the prayer was – – Dear Heavenly Father ,,,,,,,,,,,, ,,,,,,, please give me guidance though this interview,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, at that point my mind goes totally blank and I can’t think of anything else but to close the prayer,,,,, Talk about embarrassing. I had no problems with the rest of the stuff though. Well it is time to close this for now , it has been a long day.
Well lets see where to start on this one – so much has gone on in the last 10 hours.
Church day went well today – I really like this ward, everyone is so nice and willing to help. I forgot where I needed to go at one point and all I had to do was speak up and let the person next to me know and they helped me get to where I needed to be. It is going to take me a while to remember everyones names – there are so many people. Every time we go we run into someone who knew my wifes mother before she passed – it is like having family there when they come up to you and say – maybe you don’t remember us but we knew your mother. Elder Farthing sat with us this week and that was kinda cool – I really like that guy, he makes me feel so welcome.
Lets see what else – they mentioned my baptism in the priesthood meeting and lots of people congratulated me and shook my hand and let me know that they would try to make it – it was so cool – here are people that don’t really know me yet and willing to take time out of their Saturday to come see me – never in my life have I felt such a since of belonging.
Lesson 4 is done – YEAH !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The missionary’s came by about 4 and we went over lesson 4 – it was a long one that covered many topics – too many to be covered here right now. But I am finally done – well almost done at least, I still have to have the interview on Tuesday at 7:30 pm and of course the baptism next Saturday.
I am going to miss the missionary’s though – they have been around so much and I always looked forward to their arrival – I made them pose for a picture – I may post it here in the future,,,, I shared this website address with them so that they too could share my thoughts. Don’t worry Elders, I am sure that not that many people know about this site and won’t recognize your picture – of course now they are wondering how they look in the picture – LOL – We will see if I post it or not.
Well thats about it for today – time to get ready for bed and ready for work tomorrow.
( I thought I would copy here what I sent to all of the family members and friends)
Ok here it is – your invitation to my baptism,,,,,,,,,
Ok if you are feeling faint please sit down and take large even breaths,,,, you will be ok – give yourself a minute to compose yourself, – and no – you know what has not frozen over and no I am in perfect health.
It is time to start a new chapter in my life and I wish to thank everyone who is helping me to make this happen. I also wish to give a special thanks to those family members who upon hearing of this stepped forward and and said we can help you with this.
First off if anyone has any questions please call Margaret on her cell at (edited out) or I can always be reached at (edited out).
Oh yea – it will be at the stake center – 4901 W Union Hills, Glendale, AZ 85308 on Saturday November 17th at 1:30 p.m.
If I have missed anyone, please pass the word on – my mind has been kinda busy lately.
Well lesson 3 is done – finally,,
Sometimes it seems to be going real slow and it seems that I can’t retain anything that day and other times it is just racing past and it seems knowledge is just pouring in. I thought at one time that I would put what each of the lessons were about, but I decided not to – this isn’t just about the lessons its about me. I am growing spiritually each and every day in different ways.
Ok back to the missionary’s – I can not say enough good things about these guys,,,, I know, I know you are going to say that this is their job or calling – but it is more than that – mind you I haven’t been around many missionary’s but you have to think that some of them are just doing it to say that they went on a mission. Not so with these guys -when I am around these Elders I can just feel it – it flows from them – these guys have the spirit with them, and I feel so lucky because they are passing some of it on me – I feel honored that these are the missionary’s that He chose for me.
Well tomorrow is church day – I am so looking forward to it this time – not that I wasn’t looking forward to it last time, but this time is different because I have been there before and I know how I feel when I am there ( plus I know where the bathrooms are – LOL) The only nervous part this time is they are going to announce my baptism – I know that I have nothing to be nervous about but I am just the same.
Ok church tomorrow at 11 to 2 and then lesson 4 at 4pm – then I have my interview next Tuesday at 730 pm. Then the baptism on the 17th.
Ok I was all excited for lesson 3 today – but it was not to be,,,, LOL
See I was all ready and the missionarys came by and I thought, cool a new lesson. But today was a administrative day,,, darn – oh not darn,, Ok time to plan – who will do what,,,,,,, WHAT,,,, plan,,, I hadn’t even though of that part.
Yah like I don’t have enough stress – ok be calm – I have a whole family to draw from. Some are no brainers – I will have Elder Farthing do the baptism, I will have dad give me the gift of the Holy Ghost – see what else would I need. It seems I need a few more things – LOL.
Ok the family is pulling for me – Lets see we now have Sam to do the talk on baptism and maybe Sarah on the piano – Lets see what slots are still open – I still need opening and closing prayer, talk on the Holy Ghost, and music. Wow I had no idea what went into this.
Lets see what else do I know – Lesson 3 will happen tomorrow and then Lesson 4 after church on Sunday and my interview next Tuesday, with the baptism on the 17th at 1:30.Margaret just had a good idea – Elder Stroud could do the closing prayer – I guess I should remember to share this with him tomorrow – lol
Ok, I know that I haven’t posted in a couple of days, but I have been so busy with work and then trying to learn new things before I see the missionarys later today. My wife says that I am stressing too much about this but I can’t help it. I am relieved though that my father-in-law will be part of my baptism I always knew in the back of my mind that if I needed him for this that he would be there, but we have been strangers for a while.
I am excited about the baptism but also a little stressed about everything coming together as it should. As you can see I am just kinda rambling on here but these are my thoughts and feelings right now – I am taking a break at work and writing this here – this helps relieve the stress if only for a moment.
I think I want to take a moment and thank my best friend – my wife and of course my daughter for all of their help and support to get me to this point. And of course I can’t say enough about the missionarys that haved helped guide me to this point – even when I forget their names and address them by Elder – LOL – You guys rock – Thanks
I will write more later when I meet with the missionarys.
Well I saw the missionarys last night, I have been so busy that this is the first time that I have had time to post – and this I am doing from work on my lunch hour.
Lession 2 went great – so much to remember – basic stuff that I should have known or once knew but have forgotten – I feel so dumb sometimes here. I mean come on stuff like Adam and Eve – and the Atonement, resurrection, see just basic stuff. They will ask questions and my mind will just go blank,,,,,,
I will add more here later – like I said I am at work and my mind is in work mode – but I want to add this part-
The next lesson will be on Friday – this will be lesson 3. My wife helped me set a date for the baptism – the 17th if the stake center is free – I am ready though, this has been quick, I thought this would have taken longer. It is exciting and scary all at the same time. I understand that I will have to have some kind of interview before I get baptized, I am a little worried about that – I can see them asking some question that I should know the answer to and totally freezing up.
Sunday, Church day
Ok this hasn’t happened yet,,,, Got about and hour,,, nervous,,, yes,,, wondering, how out of place will I feel, will they be friendly or standoffish. will I know what to do, where to go,,,,,,, what if I have to go to the bathroom? !!! – oh yea I have a wife and daughter – they can help guide me,,,,.
It went great – what a nice ward with very friendly people. They made me feel so welcome.
Originally we were not going to go today, we had prior plans and it was just yesterday that we saw the missionarys. But this morning when I woke up I just knew that I had to go – it had to be today. When we showed up – early of course, we wanted to try to get a seat near the back to blend in,,, But it didn’t happen that way – when we go there the missionarys were already there – so I went up and stood right in front of him and it took a second or two before I saw the light in his eye and the smile on their faces as it dawned on them that I was here. Don’t forget I have only met them once, yesterday and I had told them that I had prior commitments and would not be there this week. Anyway they were sitting in a set of benches that goes across right by the doors on ether side where you enter – so no matter what door anyone came in, there we were – see we ended up sitting with the missionarys and believe me, there was no blending in going on. I will never remember all of the people that I met. Everyone was so nice, it makes me a bit sad that I waited years before doing this, but maybe there was a reason for this to happen now – I don’t know what that reason is and I may or may not ever find out why now – It might not even be about me, it could be someones life that I have touched – it could even be someone reading this right now.
Back to the ward – it was a great experience and I can’t say enough about all of the kind people who helped me get to where I needed to be at a certain time and introduced me to people that really wanted to know me and made me feel welcome and not an outsider. I did feel a bit like an outsider but not too bad – not nearly like I thought it was going to be. This will get easier in time – this was my first time in this ward – and the first time in years in any church.
Well the missionary’s came by at 4 and they were great. I was nervous though, and you know what, this is hard.
Once again I have to hand it to mormons, you have grown up with this and you make this look easy. I find it amazing that mormons like my wife can hear a scripture and know just where it is in the bible or BoM. I knew my wife could do this but I guess it starts out early and they can all do it -LOL.
Ok back to the meeting, I think it went well (what I can remember of it – I was kinda nervous) we did the first lession and there were things that I know that I know but when they asked me I my mind went completely blank. Thank fully my wife and daughter were in on the meeting and helped me out a bit.We have the next meeting setup for next wednesday.
I did get a new BoM from them but I was having a hard time reading it, so after they left we ran over to the LDS store and picked me up a new quad book ( I guess that is what you call it) in large print – man those are some expensive books – but it will last me a lifetime and it has my name on it, something to call my own.
Well thats it for today,,,, I am done, I am tired, it is time for bed.
I do want to thank all of you that write comments – your support has helped me more than you could know. And of course a special mention to Steffielyn who has helped me in so many ways – you are truly the sweetest person and thanks for being you.
Well the missionary’s called back a little while ago. I spoke to a really nice girl and she let me know that this number was for the missionary’s but when I gave her my address she let me know that she was the wrong missionary for my address. However the right missionary’s were there and they were just getting ready to do some tracking. (I had to ask my wife what that meant when I got off of the phone) Anyway they will be over about 4pm today, so at this point I have no idea if I have male or female missionary’s coming over – not that it matters, so we will see at 4. It is kinda cool that they just happened to be together when I called.
Since this is my blog and I am honest with myself I am just going to ramble on here a bit with thoughts and feelings.
I have been so busy lately that I haven’t had time to pick up the scriptures, some will say well how do you think you are going to convert to being a Mormon if you don’t read your scriptures.
To that I would have to say – and I am sure I will have comments about this but I think that if you have been raised mormon you have a slight disadvantage. Yes I spelled that right, disadvantage. You have been raised and have talked or been taught from a very early age what a mormon was and how a mormon should act and what is expected of you – mind you there is nothing wrong with that, you have it easy. You have always been a Mormon and this is how you were raised. For some of us converts or those of us going though conversion we were raised with a different religion, catholic in my case and we are having to relearn or learn differently and our hearts have to be truly open to accept Him – not that morman hearts are not open, but you have had it easier. Let my clarify a little to where I am heading in this conversation before I dig myself in a deep hole because I am not explaining this correctly and having problems putting this into words.
Here I am 46 years old, haven’t picked up a BoM in years, I have nothing unusual going on in my life and have had no one talk to me about mormonism for a long time (see no brain washing here) I am a smart person and hold a professional staff position at a local college, and yes I think I have a sound mind and body -lol.
I guess what I am trying to say is that I am being spoken to, and yes I am listening.
I have no preconceived notions here, but I feel the holy ghost is with me. And you know what, its ok. Some will come on this site and try to explain it away as this and that or try to give some weird explanation – but it doesn’t matter- I know in my heart what this is, and how can I not follow. I feel that I am being called and that the heavenly father is speaking to me – this is kinda weird you know – but my heart is open to Him.
So what is next, I don’t know, I know that I do need to study my scriptures and that the missionary’s will help guide me and point me in the right direction and time will tell what He has in store for me.
Ok – My journey has officially begun.
I have stopped smoking , and I feel good about that. It was getting to the point where I was just smoking because it was habit. I also found that it was a habit to smoke after or before doing something, I guess that I why they call it a habit.
I have made the call to the missionary’s, Well actually I left a message. I had a card from a missionary from what should be our ward. This card has been sitting around for a year or more, I wasn’t even sure if the numbers would be good anymore. Anyway one day a year or so ago the missionary’s had come to the door and I don’t remember if we invited them in or if we were too busy at the time. I want to think that we invited them in and talked for a bit but I really don’t remember. It is not like we haven’t had missionary’s over before or even visiting teachers but it wasn’t for me at the time. Of course looking back I bet the missionary’s thought it was for me – but I wasn’t ready at that point. Anyway that was a couple of years ago.
Back to leaving the message, like I said I wasn’t sure that the number was even the right number or if it was still any good – Was I nervous about making the call, you bet. Maybe it was easier to leave a message. The answering machine message did let me know that the number belonged to the missionary’s, the message was in a female voice so I guess we have female missionary’s in our area now. This of course doesn’t matter to me, in fact it might be easier to have female missionary’s with the whole family involved.
Now to wait for the call – ok maybe I am still a little nervous,, so much to learn, so much I don’t know. I do want to request a new BoM, the one I have came preused which has been fine up to this point but it just doesn’t feel like mine since someone else has marked parts that had meaning to them.
Now to wait for the call,,,,,
Well last night I shared this website and my goals with my wife. She is so supportive I love her so much, she truly is my best friend. She will help me anyway that she can with my journey. She also liked Steffielynn’s page and her note to her husband and his response back. We also liked Steff’s courage in posting her personal journey to conversion. It was very uplifting and supportive. Thanks for being you Steff and thanks for your support. Oh before I forget, when my wife looked at my site here she also asked why I chose the picture I did for this site. My answer to that was this was once a screen saver picture that I have had for a while and just cropped it down because it just seemed fitting for my journey and it just called to me – I have lots of pictures but it was that one that just felt right. Anyway she let me know that a picture like this is relevant to the faith. I had no idea – it is early when I am writing this here so I don’t remember every thing that she said about it other then it is not always the straight path that is the true one – sometime you must take the longer more rocky road to get to where you are going – I liked this very much and wanted to put it down here so that I wouldn’t forget.
I work long hours at a local college in my area as the assistant financial aid director and on most nights don’t get home until about 7:30 at night, this makes my time very limited. My wife has agreed to help me brush up on my scriptures by bookmarking certain pages for me to read. I also added links to the scriptures here on my page so that during the day if I have time or if things are getting a little rough I can refer to they easily.
I still haven’t contacted missionary’s yet – this will happen in 1 to 2 weeks. I need to get a couple of things taken care of before I talk to them. One of these things is to stop smoking – yes I smoke, I have quit before and the last time was for a few years, stress at work helped me begin again and with having no other outlet well I broke down an began again. I am waiting until this weekend when I get paid to pickup the patches that worked so well last time. Also coffee,,, ok what is up with this – LOL.. I know my wife has told me about this and I don’t drink that much but man,,, the smoking I understand, this is no good for me and I know it but coffee – Heavenly father you are making this hard – but I will overcome. See I told you that I needed just a little time to prepare.. Well time to get ready for work.
Ok the journey hasn’t really started yet.
I am still trying to figure out how to use this blog, and there are a few things to take care of before the journey really begins. Like any journey or trip you take, there is a little planning and preparation than needs to be done first.
At this point I will remind myself that I have read the BoM, but it has been a while and it would be a good idea to read up on my scriptures. There are many things to learn and a few things to prepare for, and soon the journey will begin.
For anyone that should read this I will let you know that this is not a spur of the moment decision. but one that has been a long time in the making. Nothing drastic has happened in my life to make this choice, my home life is great as always, but, something is calling me, something inside me is telling me that now is the time.
I am also adding the “About Me” section with a link up on the top right.